Tips for Talking to Kids About Separation

Kids often know more than we think they do. If there has been an affair, they probably know. If there has been ongoing tension or fighting, they have probably sensed that their parents are going to get divorced – even if they don’t fully comprehend what that means. At the very least, they have likely picked up that their parents don’t like eachother much anymore. That being said, when talking to your children about your separation, to remember that they too are going through their own emotions about what is happening to their family. Where Possible, Have Both Parents Present
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My Childhood Divorce Story

Recently I met with a young woman who had a refreshing take on her parent’s divorce. Here is what she had to say. My parents divorced when I was around 6 years old. Since I was quite young I don’t think I really understood what was happening. I was excited to have 2 homes/Xmas’s/Birthdays and didn’t ever feel that my parents not being together was an issue. My dad only moved 10 minutes away so we saw him quite regularly which I think is why it didn’t bother me initially. In my pre-teen years, I did go through hot and
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The 3 Year Adjustment

Newly separated? Want it over quickly? Buckle up. It’s going to be a long ride! Unfortunately, the process of separation or divorce just can’t be rushed. If you have children, it is more of a transition to a different kind of relationship with your partner (ex partner) and even if you don’t have children, its unlikely that there will be a ‘clean break’ with property and maybe even pets to consider. During my specialist training to become a divorce coach, I was introduced to the concept of The 3 Year Adjustment, by Dr Wendy Coughlin – an American psychotherapist. The
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Divorce done differently: towards a positive new way

  Watching strong women made vulnerable through family breakdown took me back to my childhood but knowing a ‘good divorce’ was possible, I realised it was time to offer a better path. As an adult, when I realised divorce was being ‘done’ just as badly as it had during my childhood I knew it was time to dig deep and offer a better path. I’d been a child of divorce, had ended my own marriage in my late 20s and observed family and friends break up with mixed results. While most experiences seemed bitter, there were glimmers on the horizon
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What to expect when you end your relationship

There comes a time when enough is enough –  and that point is different for everyone. Being the one to end the relationship comes with its own heartache, no matter the reason you ended it. Making the decision to end your relationship is not a decision that should be made lightly. And very rarely, is it out of the blue. People who have been living with and managing their partners chronic addictions, negative behaviours, or extramarital relationships often put their heart and soul into helping their partner work through these issues, turning a blind eye in the hope that ‘this
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3 Tips to Help YOU Think Clearer in Arguments!

Some of the hardest things to manage during an argument are our own feelings and our own physical responses. Often, they seem out of our control, which causes us to blame the other party for ‘making’ us feel one way or another. These tips aim to help you take control of yourself and to respond in arguments with a clearer head and stay on track. 1. Breathe Often underestimated, the humble breath has so much power! Simply take a minute – just ONE minute – out of the discussion you are having to take a breath, calm your thoughts and
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How to keep your expectations in check!

Managing your own expectations within a relationship is difficult enough.  It’s a whole new ball game when it comes to co-parenting.  Expectations are the ‘strong belief that something will or should happen’. We all have expectations. Some are met, some are not but when our expectations are strong and the world around us is falling apart, it can be really difficult to accept that the expectations we have of how our children are raised may be different to that of our ex.  It is important as co-parents to come to some kind of understanding of what the non-negotiable or agreed
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Our top 3 tips to avoid the most common separation mistake

Guard against this common separation mistake with our three simple tips to save time, money and achieve the future you want. Stress brought on by separation negotiations may tempt you to walk away and leave others responsible for the outcome, but this course of action brings great risks for your future. You’re the only one who knows what you truly want from the situation – and therefore the only one qualified to stand and fight for what’s yours. At the end of the day, this goes much deeper than anything of financial value, but how you want to mark the
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When ‘it’s over’ comes too soon

Discover our Top 3 tips for picking up the pieces and starting again when your relationship ends unexpectedly. An unexpected end to a relationship can stop you in your tracks, but it’s possible to start again – even when you feel like you’ve lost hope. While both parties usually know when something is wrong, suddenly being told “it’s over” can feel as though the rug has been pulled out from under you. Conquer overwhelm by slowing everything down, keeping things offline and getting organised to restore your capacity for clear thinking. It involves being proactive rather than reactive, helping you
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When you feel like you’re getting nowhere fast

  It’s easy to feel as though you’re getting nowhere fast, but a moment of reflection can help you realise just how far you’ve come. Sometimes you can feel as though you’re getting nowhere fast, but by taking a moment to reflect you may just realise how far you’ve come. I’m just as guilty as the next person of falling in to the trap of not feeling satisfied or good enough. I can forget to recognise when I’ve reached that top rung on the ladder and celebrate my successes. But a recent conversation with my husband saw us both reflect
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